Well, look who it is: My disgusting, worthless, pathetic waste bucket! Get down on the floor where you belong, My boots need licking clean! I’ve been thinking about how you can be more useful to Me. And well, honestly speaking, your only use in life is to lick the dirt off the bottom of My boots. But as you know, I travel a lot and I’ve decided I want a personal bootlicker wherever I go in the world and that’s going to be you. So you’re going to give up any speck of a normal life you have left because from now on, you’re going to be at My beck and call to lick the mud and shít off My boots whenever I want you to. Whilst I travel the world and dine on the finest delicacies from every country, you’ll be dining on local mud, as close as you’ll get to tasting the local cuisine. HAHAHA!