Good morning Mr. Jones. I'm so glad you were able to schedule your colonoscopy so soon after your physical. Now, we don't think anything is wrong, this is just precautionary. So, you're all hooked up and ready to go. Now before we start, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions. So, you are no longer in a relationship, is that correct? Oh I do know that.. Do you remember Sarah, your ex-girlfriend? Oh that's right, we never got to meet because you were too busy. Well, Sarah and I are best friends, and I know what a piece of you are! Don't look so alarmed. Just stay relaxed. And that call for the colonoscopy.. that was me. You don't really need one. So here we are, alone, ready for a procedure you're not going to have. You see, I really, really don't like piece of scumbags that cheat on my best friends. How many girls were you fucking around with? I think she told me 18! Yeah we got into your phone records. You have a lot of time on your hands. It's impressive in it's own way. So, what I'm going to do today is provide you with, how should I put this, relief from your need to stick your dick in every hole you can. Look at you, still hard.. I'll fix that for you. I'm just going to give you a little relief, just a little, because I do have a heart. And then, you're never, ever going to use your dick again. You're never going to get off, blow a huge load, I'm going to take that away from you completely. I'm going to deprive you of any future sexual satisfaction and pleasure