You've been spending a lot of time at a fellow student's house recently, darling, and that's absolutely fine. Poor girl, she's not very attractive is she? But by chance, I ran into her mother, or 'mom' as I suppose she'd call herself, being a vulgar American! Anyway, she looks like a very, very dangerous woman, darling, and I want you to stay away. All that glitters is not gold, and women like her may look flashy, with their jewellery and fake tan, but *believe me* she won't treat you the way *I* do. Women like that are normally awfully dull and inhibited in real life - I bet she even wears sculpting underwear! Not like me; I'm not even WEARING any underwear. And as a mature, sophisticated European woman, I have so many wonderful sexual tricks up my sleeve too. Lots of stuff that she's probably far too prudish to try! So my advice to you, darling, is to forget this Stacey's 'mom' and pay attention to the delights rather closer to home.... NB - Upskirt Aunt does not appear to like Americans. I, on the other hand, adore them. So please don't take any of Upskirt Aunt's opinions on American women seriously. She's just being territorial.