You're a Terrible Toilet

You have one job. One very simple job. You are to catch every last drop of pee that I expel from my body. You have begged for the honor, but will you cut the mustard? SPOILER ALERT: YOU ARE WORTHLESS. Now you get to lick it off the floor. And pay double for taking more of my time. $100 spilled nectar tax. I dare you to let any spill again. Punishment increases each time you slip.