I want you to engage in a bit of public degradation for me. It's going to be intense and just the right amount of risky--enough to take your breath away with the public shame of it all, but not enough to land you in actual trouble or attract serious scrutiny. You will do it. You won't have the chance to chicken out, because I will be there guiding you through every step. This is a public humiliation task in several parts. You'll do a little warmup task, which will be TRULY hilarious, and then...and then you'll see. There's no fun in ruining the surprise, but I will say: you and I are going to have a real adventure today. You will be a source of humiliating amusement for not just me, but everyone who encounters you next. Buckle up. You're in for a thrilling ride.