Handling your finances is too hard for you. I can handle them better, be your personal financial adviser. You don't know how to manage money and you need me to guide you to give it up. This is a handbook for dummies who don't know how to be good financial submissives. I will teach you how to be a walking wallet. A human ATM. To dispense cash at my leisure and demand. Let me teach you how to get drained.
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