I always get so weirded out when my friends go on about wanting boyfriends or husbands. Why would you restrict yourself like that? I so much prefer to have many men in my life. I have a coterie of hot hook-ups to cycle through, men so gorgeous they could be models of masculinity. I have an entire army of slaves to take care of all my other needs. Housecleaning, money, and love letters are all provided for in abundance by hundreds of adoring boys who wish only to worship me. I don’t have to commit to a relationship, exclusivity, or marriage. Literally all I have to do is flash my gorgeous feet, and voila. All the perks of men with none of the nuisances. Amazing. My life is perfect.