OMG, I’ve always wanted to hook up with a hot guy at a Halloween party! This is so much fun. You look so cute in your costume! I’ve seen you staring at me all night, practically eye-fucking me through my sexy hula girl costume. Hurry hurry, take your pants off and fuck me- WAIT! Wait wait stop. Um. Do you have a small dick? Yikes. Yeah, that’s pretty small. I don’t know who told you you’re “average,” but they were obviously lying to protect your feelings. How disappointing... and humiliating, for you. I don’t want to fuck a small dick. Gorgeous girls don’t have to “settle.” You have to leave, Chicken Little.