My stepson is all grown up. You’re not just going on silly little dates to the movies anymore—you have an actual girlfriend. And I know how young couples are. Sooner or later you and she are going to end up talking about sex, if you haven’t been already. As much as I’d like to hope that you’ll be safe and have no unfortunate accidents, I also know that life doesn’t work that way. Condoms break. Birth control fails. But the last thing I want to be right now is a step-grandmother, so if we want guaranteed safety, we’re going to have to think outside the box. Don’t worry. There will be no knocked-up girlfriend on my watch. Instead, we’re going to channel all of your sexual desires toward...me. I bet I can satisfy you better than your girlfriend could and with just my voice too. You’ll be so drained from jerking off for me that you won’t be able to perform for her. It’s the perfect solution.