Ruby was complaining about how I never seemed to get hanging wedgies, and we all know I'm the stronger one between the two of us. So...I figured I would try to give myself one after taking her to the airport! And, SURPRISE! The underwear stretched out so much that I almost immediately was planted back on the floor. Then I tried sinking into the wedgie a bit so I could lift my feet. Yeah, it hurt, but that couldn't be all there was to it! So I figured, hell, let's try for a second round, tie the undies up higher, and really get it right. It still didn't work properly! It definitely still hurt, you can hear me complaining while I worked to distract myself from the pain, AND I kept my feet off the floor as much as I could, but...for all my threatening to never try again, it still felt like there was something missing. And how can I say I did actually did it if even I won't count them as good wedgies?! We're gonna go back to the drawing board; next time I'll get it right, I'm sure!