Friends? You don't need them. Dating? Sex? Pussy? Not for you! Hobbies? There's only one hobby that you need: MASTURBATION.  Grab your boner in your hand and start pumping it up and down. Don't stop stroking. Never stop stroking. Keep moving that hand up and down, up and down, up and...until the day fades into night and the night opens into dawn. Jerk your life away. Jerk, jerk, jerk your life away. Other people are having sex right now. Other people are being productive members of society. But not you! You're staring at the screen, rubbing your cock raw, jerking your life away.  But that's ok. It's better this way. You'll learn to love your masturbation sex life. To give up hope of fighting the jerk off addiction. Stroke harder and harder. See how each stroke becomes more mindless? More robotic?  Now try to stop. Maybe I'm wrong and there's hope for you yet. Can you resist? Can you fight the urge to MASTURBATE? Go ahead. Turn off this clip and save yourself...if you can.