E-girlfriends are so much better than real ones. You have to admit, your dating life has always been a horror show. You waste money on gas, dinner, dr!nks, nice clothes to wear out, and for what? It's not like you ever get lucky. The women you date aren't even the women you want. Nagging, sexless, and ugly is what's available in your league. It's much better for you to woo me instead. Clips and tributes are so much more fun than banal small talk in a dirty bar. Jerking off to me guarantees you get lucky ALL THE TIME. I am truly beautiful, a living Barbie. It's easier to love me. I won't harass you to return my texts- in fact, I like it best when you don't contact me at all!
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