I'm your ex-girlfriend from high school, better known as the one that got away. We broke up at some point and I went off to marry a rich doctor and live happily after. You, on the other hand, put on weight, never fucked another woman, and have become a total loser. I had a feeling this would happen so I guess I jumped ship at the right time. You had your shot, loser... and you BLEW IT, just by being you. I know you still stroke to me by the way and I think that is totally pathetic. How could I not humiliate you? Your life is clearly a tragedy while mine is going great in every possible way. SUCKS TO BE YOU.