I love asparagus, but I hate how it makes my pee smell! If I use a stalk to masturbate with, and sound my peehole with it, will that be a humiliating experience that makes asparagus learn its lesson once and for all? No? Not even if I use my vibrator and my urethra squeezes the stem hard when I cum? Oh, asparagus really has no shame, and doesn't mind being used this way at all? Well, fine, I'll just piss all over it, then! Surely that will teach it what pee should be like, right?