You and I used to date awhile back, until I got sick of faking orgasms for your pathetically TINY so-called "dick". That thing's so pathetic that it's a wonder I even got with you in the first place, but after I had to deal with that? Ugh. I decided that NO woman should EVER have to tolerate that nonsense EVER AGAIN. So, naturally, when you got a girlfriend, I just had to help her out with her... special needs. After all, a nice big strap-on can outdo your joke of a penis ANY day of the week. And after one taste of me... she was hooked. Yeah, she's leaving you for me. I stole your GF, and I'm PROUD of it. And that's why I'm here today- to help move her stuff out while you're at work. And to fuck her one last time on your shared bed before she leaves your useless ass for good. It's so pathetic, how you just sit there while I denigrate your sexual performance and tell you the TRUTH about your inadequate manhood, but you always have been a total pussy, so it's no surprise that you're just sitting there and taking it while I dish out such a verbal lashing. But at least you know she's going to have a MUCH happier future without you in it, right? I don't think she's ever going to be interested in men again.