I think I may have been a bit too gentle the first time we had this discussion. Apparently I haven't made myself very clear. We will never be more than friends, and I thought you understood and accepted that. You've done so well at paying since we first agreed on this arrangement, but it seems as though you're a bit confused about your role outside of that. I guess I shouldn't have been so sweet and soft before, but I'm fixing that for you now. So for good measure, I've decided on a new deal for us: you keep paying (obviously) and in return we maintain our friendship from a distance. No more driving me around and taking me to lunch; all that attention is playing tricks on your silly little brain. From now on, you'll essentially be supporting me in a more convenient digital space. It's better this way. We both have our roles in this friendship, which I know you enjoy as much as I do. You don't want to make this more complicated and messy than it has to be, do you?