You are the ultimate pussy free loser . You're so desperate to have some "action" that you'd fuck an invertebrate at this point . As long as you'll have that enoki mushroom between your legs , no woman , no man or sex robot would want to have to deal with that . You're a shame for your male species and you don't deserve to have sex or even stroke that malformed little thing . You will do things a little bit different. I'm going to give you a chance to cum today, but not like other guys do it . No touching , no stroking , no humping a pillow . You can cum just by humping the air . Like a loser . You will learn to have a L.O.S.E.R.G.A.S.M.