It's a compulsion, a compulsion to goon all day long, and I am here to reinf-orce it. You can't help wanting to stroke all day, every day, and you won't quit. I will have you sink into mesmerizing loser goon mode. You will go deeper as I tease you with my perfect latex-clad body. You can't get away. You're just a gooner loser. So go ahead and try to resist!