Hey loser, we're going to do an interactive activity today. You will need shoelaces and a spatula or wooden spoon. You will be tying up your balls for me and you better not bitch about it. Making you tie up your balls until they're aching fills me with such joy. Go on, you can make them tighter. Good whore. Now take that spatula or wooden spoon and smack those balls. I don't give 2 flying dingos if it hurts. I want those poor balls red and swollen by the time we're done.
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