I’m your roommate and accidentally opened up your mail. I had no idea we had the same bank, so I confidently tore the letter open and read all the monthly charges. WOW. I immediately knew something was wrong when I saw all these weird payments for fetish and femdom porn sites - particularly your interest in eating your own cum. I’m completely baffled by all of this but totally aroused by the thought of manipulating you into eating your own cum right in front of me. Everyone would think you’re a total weirdo if they found out how much you’re into all this fetish stuff - I’ll pretend I never saw any of this if you’ll jerk off right now and eat your own cum. Deal?