Hey there, little piggy. It's time for you to go on a diet. Not the type of diet where you munch on cabbage and lettuce, the kind where you binge on heavy, fattening treats until your body is covered in rolls of fat. So many people think that obesity is disgusting and a sign of laziness, but it's not. Gaining for me is an act of submission, and that submission empowers you to become what the person you're truly meant to be: a fat piggy, immøbilized by endless rolls of adipose tissue, unable to do anything but eat and stroke. Your diet starts today. I hope you've just eaten a big meal, because I'm going to feed you a nice dessert. Get out two full sticks of butter and start stroking...