You're scared of a piece of plastic? give me a break! A toy is a toy. It's meant to be played with. It's only suppose to be for fun. It doesn't make you gay so calm down. Don't be so against it. You'll love it! there are so many different options to choose from and so many things you can do with it to have pleasurable, innocent fun and exploration. That's the point right? I mean.... who knows where it'll take you, but for now we're just going to focus on on this first step. I promise.... it's really not a big deal. I think you're just afraid you're going to like it too much. Perhaps it'll alter the way you masturbate and the way you cum. It's not like it's a real dick though it's simply plastic! Just go buy one for me. (I bruised my dildo LOL)