You've spent most of your life trying to prove to everyone around you that you're a tough guy. The image that you present to other is your priority - and you need them to view you as a strong, stoic, masculine individual. Being top alpha must be hard for you - especially when you're just trying to hide the fact that you're actually a little flamboyant, faggot bitch. No need to deny it, I know what a little slutty gay boy you are. You might try and act like a macho man in front of your buddies, but behind closed doors, you're nothing but a horny little sissy slut.
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