Oh FFS. Why have I been sent on this rubbish job? Why can't the paper send me to report on a proper story? Apparently, a local stable owner has been accused of punishing her staff by making them wear dummies (pacifiers) in their mouths if they've done something wrong or irresponsible. So I've been sent along to interview you, her nephew, who is working for her this summer. When you come into the interview room, I CANNOT BELIEVE you're wearing a dummy!! Are you being punished for something you did wrong? I can't understand you through the dummy, so you take it out while I ask you a bunch of patronising questions. You must be an idiot, to let your aunt treat you like this! After a while though, I get more curious about how it feels to be made to suck on a dummy  - it must be humiliating and infantalizing, surely? I decide to try putting the dummy in your mouth again, to experiment with how it feels. It's actually quite fun, making you wear it. I feel rather powerful! I'd quite like to try it on some of my male colleagues when I get back to the office TBH - they always have far too much to say.  Actually, I wonder if I should try wearing it - I want to write a thorough investigation, after all. I take the dummy out of your mouth and stick it into my own. This is actually a lot of fun. But I wonder if anyone else has spotted the sexual connotations, LOL...