Son, turn the TV off. There is something I need to talk to you about. Your big sister Julie and I have started a new research project at work, and we think you should be our first test subject. No, it’s not for a dru g trial. This project is not that invasive. It actually just a clinical trial for a new sex therapy technique. Don’t be so immature about this li t t le boy. There is nothing wrong with discussing sex openly. You’re old enough to take this seriously. The truth is, your sister and I have become very concerned about your sexual functionality. I’ve known for several years that you spend a lot of time looking at pronography on your computer. And I also know that you spend an egregious amount of time masturbating. A few months ago, your sister brought to my attention that for some reason you’ve been spending less and less time yourself lately. We were very concerned. Compulsive masturbators don’t just abandon their self pleasuring practice abruptly unless there are underlying psychological issues at play. We decided to investigate without letting you know our concerns. We didn’t want you to worry that something might be wrong with you. I installed monitoring software on your PC and a surveillance camera in your bedroom. Your sister and I have been tracking your porn viewing and masturbation habits for the last few months. Unfortunately, the results are worse than I could have imagined. It turns out that you haven’t been mastubating less frequently. You are only spending less time masturbating. And the reason is…..I’m afraid you are suffering from a serious medical condition.