After you unsuccessfully tried to ask Us out, and got rejected twice (yikes), We invite you over for a special Valentine's Day double date. We introduce you to a special Valentine we found for you: Our squirt towel! It's the closest you will ever come to female pleasure. Our squirt towel is a perfect date for you. She smells like divine pleasure, and she's the only one who will actually fuck you. Listen to us describe the delicious pleasure We experienced with the squirt towel and why you would be so lucky to take her on a date. Uses male pronouns (he/him/his).