Being the loser that you are, I can imagine life must be pretty hard for you. Having a life filled with so much disappointment must really get to you sometimes. But fear not because I am here to help you! You see all you have to do is pump the pain away! That’s right, put your hand around your cock and lube it up with some spit and just start stroking. That is all you have to do and instantly, your troubles start drifting away as I become the focus of your attention. Any time you’re feeling sad or down, just take yourself somewhere quiet and jerk off to me again. You’ll feel better as dopamine rushes through your body and you feel happiness. All you have to do is keep repeating the cycle forever and you’ll never feel low again! You’ll do that for me, won’t you loser?