You're thirsty for my knowledge and as your teacher I plan to let you drin.k it all, in fact I'll pour it straight into you. I'll be teaching you step by step how to smoke your first cigarette. We'll start off slowly as I familiarise you with 6 steps, then we get straight into smoking. I'll be sucking my cork cigarette while you're sucking yours under my guidance. Pay attention to each step and you'll be addicted to smoking very fast, like a good boy. Or maybe it's me that you will be addicted to? Remember student- practice makes perfect.