It’s a gorgeous sunny day here on Zuma Beach in Malibu. It is your lucky day because I am here lifeguarding! I begin my shift by dutifully applying sunblock on my exposed bare skin. I then settle in for my first watch. In less than a minute, I spot you flailing in the water, so I run to you in my classic red swimsuit. I pull you to the shore and start CPR but mouth to mouth is not working. I then determine that you need advanced care STAT! My pussy to mouth technique works like a charm and you come to, but then you are suffering with a post resuscitation boner that I must attend to immediately!