It's nice to fantasize about meeting an already established CG in the community that fits perfectly with your life, who can read your mind & be that awesome AB/DL provider but in reality, most ppl will end up coming out to their non-AB/DL partners and essentially teaching them about the things they enjoy. I am not qualified to speak on this beyond thinking of general tips so I let SoggyPrince & BabyDonny (both on fetlife) chat about it since they have real life experience doing this!!