I am just about to leave for my yoga class, but I'm so gassy, I just know they are going to kick me out for stinking up the entire studio. Since you're such a good and kind boyfriend, could you help me out and sniff all my farts up before I leave? God I just love you so much for doing this for me. Okay, now stay on your knees and just press your nose right up against my leggings. Each time I fart just suck it all up, inhale it. This is the only way we can get all of that stench out of my body! It helps me release them so much knowing you're there to catch them for me. I want you to know just how much I appreciate it! I turn around to sniff your face. I'm sorry but you're going to be extra stinky at your job tonight. Everyone is probably going to know you were sniffing farts. I'm really sorry!! I can't believe you're going to such lengths to help me. You really are the best boyfriend I could ask for! Once I finally push out all my farts, I give you a kiss, tell you I love you and head off to my class. Maybe when I get back you can lick up all the sweat for me too?