I'm lounging on the couch in my favorite pink bra and cute, tight pants that hug my curves. No wonder you still hang around even when I treat you badly. I'm just that hot. I text my friends and ignore you until I begin to feel hungry. I command you to go get me something to eat. My beautiful body needs fuel. Instead of obeying, as you usually do, you give me sass. You tell me I should go get my own food. How rude! I won't tolerate your bad attitude. If you don't want to go get me food, you can be my food. Now go get my something yummy to eat. You leave, but come back to me empty handed. Pissed off, I quickly realize what is going on. I can tell by the way you're staring at my belly you want to get eaten. Let me guess, your curiosity got the better of you and you want to see if I will actually go through with it. Of course I will eat you. It's easy to eat an entire human being when you're as hungry as I am. You should have just fed me when you had the chance, but it doesn't really matter. You will be feeding me all the same.