I just got home from work and am on my phone ignoring you. I know you can tell how angry I am. I found out you've been going to the gym! After all the progress we've both made gaining weight and getting fat and you sneak behind my back? I've been gaining like crazy and you're diet cheating?! Eating some trash fad diet like Keto? Are you kidding me? No, you're kidding yourself. Well this is it. No. More. Diets! Keep gaining or lose me. You know, I think you like it when I'm bossy, don't you? You do want to keep gaining darling, I know it! Give in to gluttony and I'll reward you by plopping my huge ever growing belly in your face like I know you love. I jiggle and plop and smoosh it, showing off my double belly. Oh and by the way I sabotaged your weight loss shakes and filled them full of sugar! Just to make sure. Now come on sweetheart, no more diets for you as we talk about your new caloric requirements. If you love me you'll prove to me you want to get fat for me. I even make you pinkie swear to get fat for me!