HA! So you thought you had the right to have hair, and lots of it. Skipping the electric trimmers, it's time to go full bald Mr. Clean! I have my assistant shave you, while I watch. I see all your flaws, no matter how much I want to encourage your new head, I just can't stop giggling of all the nasty things that come to life when your hair is gone. You are straight ugly! Scary, and you look horrible. Good!