"What are you doing in my room? Oh, I see, hotel security; but why?" You insist that a lady fitting my description has been stealing from the buffet, and you demand that I strip down to my bikini so you can check whether I'm wearing the same as the girl who's been described to you. I'm hugely embarrassed - I'm not comfortable in a bikini unless I'm on the beach, and am certainly not happy being almost naked in my hotel room with a security guard. Once I'm finally down to just my bikini, you insist that's not enough - you need to ensure I'm not hiding anything IN my bikini! I uncomfortably remove my top, and then, under pressure from you, my bikini bottoms. But OMG, is that not it? A CAVITY SEARCH TOO? This is a NIGHTMARE!