I can't help but smile when I explain in detail how your new life with me will be. How you'll never be without a diaper or the only bottles you'll be using will be filled with apple juice. Soon you'll be begging for little shows that sing immature songs you crave to hear while clutching on to your favorite teddy bear. Your words will be jumbled by the giant pacifier between your lips, but it won't matter. You don't have anything important to say anymore. You just want to snuggle onto my lap while suckling on my boobies, wetting your diaper as I gently rock you. Naptime will replace happy hour. Opening up for the airplane spoon will be your new favorite game. And the bathroom will become just a room where tubby time takes place.