I'm at home, relaxing and eating a scrumptious cupcake when you catch me. I start to lecture you with cupcake still all over my face. Listen, I never committed to losing weight for you and quite the opposite...I need you to gain weight for me. A LOT of weight. If you want to keep being my boyfriend you're going to need to pack on the pounds! And that means no more diets for you! Don't you want to get so fat we can't move darling? We can just be lazy in bed all day feeding each other and playing with our blubber! Let me show you how sexy my fat tummy is, I know it won't take much convincing. Give in to gluttony! Let's glorify obesity together. Now share these cupcakes with me and then we'll order pizza! I need you to be my fat big handsome teddy bear. Let's feed each other until we pop! Daisy Dax