Finally the longest and most atrocious date Cordelia has ever been on is over, and it’s going to be your last. Cordelia can no longer hide her disdain and repulsion, cannot suffer another moment of your presence or pretend that spending another moment dating you is even tolerable. You’ve always fallen short when it comes to being the kind of guy who truly deserves a woman like Her. She has always been immeasurably out of your league and lately even all your money and gifts are enough to bear your punishing presence. She looks unnervingly perfect, even now as she shatters your heart. She seems so free and liberated as she tells you how boring and complacent you’ve become in this relationship. She can’t even stand another night with you, the movers are coming tomorrow to pick up her things and she’s booked a room in a luxury hotel on your card. What better way to start off this new year and month of love than cutting off the loser who’s never been deserving anyway. You have been a total waste of time but making it through that awful date was totally worth it to see the pathetic look on your face.