After serving Me long enough and proving you are somewhat capable, I want to increase your usefulness to Me. I require a never-ending supply of house shoes. Even the most expensive, comfortable shoes quickly become matted with My sweat and scent. How am I to tolerate stinky, dirtied shoes? I simply won’t. This is why you are applicable. My well-worn Uggs are the center of your world. Dedicate your life to contributing to the comfort of My perfect feet. Ensnared by My scent, you will submit to My every wish. You will prove yourself to Me and sign My shoe contract, becoming My loyal Ugg bitch. Work tirelessly to make Me happy while serving My feet and you may even earn the supreme privilege of owning My old, rancid Uggs.