Oh, you're ready to go? No, I'm not quite ready... These are my only pair of clean pants. What do I mean? Well, there's this... It seems that my thighs have gotten too fat for my leggings. My lard engorged legs have literally caused them to burst at the seams. They're so tight around the waist that they dig painfully into my bulging belly. Then there's this shirt... There's not enough fabric to cover this growing gut. It rolls up everytime that I stand up. Whenever we see each other it always revolves around food. If we're not eating out then we're ordering in. Every time that you come over it's a new round of cookies, cakes, pastries, chocolate, or other treats. It's done a number on my waistline. I know you didn't sign-up for a girlfriend that's outgrowing her clothes right before your eyes.