You know nothing in life comes free to you, especially when it comes to having a hot ass Valentine. You know the deal: if you want it, you’ll earn it. This year, I plan to exploit your loneliness by capitalizing on it, making you pay the price of a helpless, uncontrollable, destined flaw you must carry the burden of for the rest of your life. I tease you over the idea of finally having a Valentine for the first time (if you can pay the price that is) all the while seducing you to obey with my yummy curves. When it comes to me, you can’t help but feel compelled to fall to your knees and do as you’re told. Are you ready to spend your Valentine’s day worshipping a real life God? Let’s see if you can afford the privilege. Stroke away your cash to avoid your loser feelings this Valentine’s day!