When we met you swore you’d be the perfect feeder. You swore you’d be the best and make me fatter than I’ve ever dreamed. But things didn’t quite work out that way, did they? It turns out you couldn’t resist the temptation of whatever indulgent, fattening food you were feeding me and now look at you! I can’t even believe how big you’ve allowed yourself to get. Now things are becoming difficult, aren’t they? Truly pathetic