We don't see each other in person very often, separated by distance and busy life schedules, but on those very rare occasions in the year where you find yourself at my doorstep, I waste no time in making you my prisoner. 10,000 calories minimum. 200 steps maximum. Round-the-clock feedings in 2-hour intervals. Through-the-night funnelings in 3-hour intervals. A surplus of snacks in between. No work. No clothes. No meals without orgasm. Inert. Engorged. Encumbered. That's the state you're left in at Fat Jail.