A new life awaits you gooner. Pack your bags, leave all the tedious chores of regular life behind, you have no use for any of it anymore you’re moving onto better things. You’ve quit your job left no notice, and are on your way to GOONTOPIA! You’ve become such a loyal stroker, you thought it was all for nothing but you were wrong. Goddess Alissa, ruler of the Goontopians took notice of your habits. Spending every possible second you can stroking made me realize you don’t belong down on earth, you belong up here with all the other goon drones. A life of nothing more but stroking. Day in, day out. Stroking to Goddess Alissa. Embrace your purpose in life. Embrace the GOON!