Self help affirmations are nonsense... unless they're my demotivational affirmations. You need these. You need a bossy, cute little cheerleader to encourage you into pure destruction. There should be no limit to your gooning, stroking, or porn consumption. You should always be reminded of what a loser you truly are. I am your sexy dream girl, wrapped in a cheerleader fantasy, and I'm here to completely ruin your night.