Heyyyyyy how ya doin? Your wife hired Me to deliver some news, well, information? To you. No! Ew! I’m not here to spice up your marriage’s rotting sex life. I’m here to deliver knowledge on a way to fix it all. You see, your wife knew you may make a fuss about this so She paid Me to dress up all sexy and tell you…she’d really truly appreciate it, if you got a penectomy. Oh don’t look so shocked. You HAD to of seen this coming? And look I’m here to tell you the BENEFITS of such a decision. I mean ha…decision. More like ultimatum. Because she’s going to leave you and take you for all you’re worth if you refuse. So it’s up to you, buddy. I can lightly explain a bit about the procedure. But more importantly, like I said, there’s benefits to this that will not only save your marriage but change your life for the better! It’s not really a “sacrifice” it’s more like an upgrade! Penectomy’s make men like you, BETTER men.