You’re stressed. Overwhelmed. You need something to help you relax, and nothing turns your brain off like porn! There’s nothing to be ashamed of, either. Everyone has their vices, and after a long, hard day, of course you deserve a little pleasure! But what if I told you that you could go even deeper? Let Me help you take the edge off… because with a little help from your other favorite habits, you can take your pornosexuality to the next level! That’s right, goonbitch, it’s a party and I want you going HARD! With each snap of My slender fingers, you’ll push yourself further and further from reality until all that matters is My curvy body and your leaking goonstick! When you wake up with it still in your hand, you’ll know you did it right.