What's the matter hunny? You seem upset. You confess you are missing school but it's not your friends or teachers you miss- you miss getting wedgies! You are on a school break and haven't had wedgies in days and it's really bringing you down. I offer to give you wedgies in hopes of cheering you up. I yank on the waistband of your tighty whities, pulling those Fruit of the Looms hard up your crack. See, Mommy can give you wedgies just as good as the bullies at school! I even give you an atomic wedgie in your tighty whities briefs.