There's something called the relapse cycle. A loop that plays over and over again with no way out. A loop you find yourself stuck inside. No matter how many times you try to quit. You always find yourself right back where you started. Holding yourself back, just makes you want it more. There is NO escape. It doesn't matter what you tell yourself. You're still the same addicted loser, a slave to your urges, to your cock. You'll always chase the high that findom brings you. You'll always chase the pleasure. Relapse ALWAYS wins.