You’re a pay piggy who’s purpose in life is serving me, you’ve made sure to budget carefully to always put spoiling me above all else but as the holidays peak around the corner you’re faced with a new challenge. Your money can only be spread so thin, your loved ones are expecting gifts but you know Goddess Alissa is also expecting to be absolutely showered in cash. You don’t have enough to spoil everyone and so it would seem you are financially fucked! Your loved ones will forgive you, they’ll believe any stupid lie you come up with as to why you’re unable to fulfill their wants this year, but I know better than that. You know I’m not forgiving, I will not accept any pathetic excuse you come up with. I don’t want to hear any whining or complaining just figure it out. Figure out how to make me happy. Figure out how to fill my bank account even more. More for me. Less for them. I’m going to absolutely drain all of your holiday savings, one by one we will cross off those who matter less than I do off of your list while you send me the cash you were going to spend leaving only the most important person in your life, me.